Last Tuesday we were notified of some horrifying news that Matt's cousin BRIAN SMITH had shot himself. We were VERY devastated! NOT BRIAN!!!! There were a MILLION questions running through my head. It was DEVASTATING for the family. By the time 6:00 P.M rolled around I was telling my Mom and Dad of the sad news when in the back ground I listened to the news reporter... my heart just sank!! I was talking on the phone with Janice and we both were having a hard time talking. There was a WHOLE new twist in our devastation. Confusion, anger, curiosity, so much was just NOT sitting right. I won't go into detail because I want to forget about the horrible things that took place leading up to Brian's passing. Matt and I HAD a hard time sleeping the next couple nights... I was on my way to work and in my CD player (my ipod was at work) was the TWILIGHT soundtrack. On there is a GREAT LINKIN PARK song. LEAVE OUT ALL THE REST(below are the lyrics) As I listened to this song IT touched me in a way it never had. I have heard this song a billion times... but this time it hit me. I hope that people will look at life and the tragic stories on the news and maybe think twice before judging so critically. Brian was a neat guy. I only talked to him a handful of times, but LOVED the guy. He was HUGE. JUST this big tall teddy bear. Matt always told me how much he looked up to Brian. The first time I met him (Brian) Matt told me he was a body guard for the Governor of Utah, and that when Matt went to the MTC there was a letter waiting for him. This letter was from Brian. It gave Matt a lot of encouragement throughout his entire mission. Matt had 3 letters he read often on his mission. One of them being the VERY first letter from his cousin Brian. The SMITH family is a GREAT family to be married into! Everyone always refers to the Smith sisters as the "SISTERS" but let us not forget Benton!! Props to him for living with such CRAZY.... yes CRAZY sisters! We love you all SO much and pray for you at this time!
I hope you will read the lyrics to the song below and maybe try to remember Brian for all the good things he did and "leave out all the rest"
I DREAMED I WAS MISSING
YOU WERE SO SCARED
BUT NO ONE WOULD LISTEN
'CAUSE NO ONE ELSE CARED
AFTER MY DREAMING
I WOKE WITH THIS FEAR
WHAT AM I LEAVING
WHEN I'M DONE HERE?
SO IF YOU'RE ASKING ME
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
WHEN MY TIME COMES FORGET THE WRONG THAT I'VE DONE
HELP ME LEAVE BEHIND SOME
REASONS TO BE MISSED
AND DON'T REESNT ME
AND WHEN YOU'RE FEELING EMPTY
KEEP ME IN YOUR MEMORY
LEAVE OUT ALL THE REST, LEAVE OUT ALL THE REST
DON'T BE AFRAID
I'VE TAKEN MY BEATING
I'VE SHED BUT I'M ME
I'M STRONG ON THE SURFACE
NOT ALL THE WAY THROUGH
I'VE NEVER BEEN PERFECT
BUT NEITHER HAVE YOU
SO IF YO'RE ASKING ME
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
WHEN MY TIME COMES
FORGET THE WRONG THAT I'VE DONE
HELP ME LEAVE BEHIND SOME
REASONS TO BE MISSED
DON'T RESENT ME
AND WHEN YOU'RE FEELING EMPTY
KEEP ME IN YOUR MEMORY
LEAE OUT ALL THE REST, LEAE OUT ALL THE REST
FORGETTING ALL THE HURT INSIDE
YOU'VE LEARNED TO HIDE SO WELL
PRETENDING SOMEONE ELSE CAN COME
AND SAVE ME FROM MYSELF
I CAN'T BE WHO YOU ARE
WHEN MY TIME COMES
FORGET THE WRONG THAT I'VE DONE
HELP ME LEAVE HEGIND SOME
REASON TO BE MISSED
DON'T RESENT ME
AND WHEN YOU'RE FEELING EMPTY
KEEP ME IN YOUR MEMORY
LEAVE OUT ALL THE REST, LEAVE OUT ALL THE REST
FORGETTING ALL THE HURT INSIDE YOU'VE LEARNED TO HIDE SO WELL
PRETENDING SOMEONE ELSE CAN COME
AND SAVE ME FROM MYSELF
ICAN'T BE WHO YOU ARE
I CAN'T BE WHO YOU ARE
3 comments:
Hey Emily! It is good to hear from you! So sorry about the death in the family. That is never a fun thing to have to go through. Your little boy is cute! I'll have to add your blog as a link.
Things are going really good for us. We are down in Monticello UT. It's right by 4 corners. How's Preston?
Emily, that was very well put. I agree wholeheartedly!
That was awesome i am in tears it was hard because i have family on the other side that was telling the story and i told them he was someones son and someones brother. i said my sister was his cousin and they loved him and there for it was sad but you have to see the good from what i hear he was not his true self the last little bit. and they said nothing else. i am sorry and i look up to matt in many ways and if matt says he looked up to himm so do i. matt and his family are amazing!!!!
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